Ping- Ah, a little something that struck me at 2 am instead of sleep...
Ryoga- I'm not complaining!
Ranma- I am. -_-
Kuno-   T~T   What ever happened to me!?!?
Mousse- All of you need hobbies...
Ping- This is my hobby! ^_^
Mousse-   -_-^
 

Disclaimer- Takahashi Rumiko owns them, I'm simply tying them to each others' bed and having my wicked way with them.
 

Warnings- Fluff
 
 
 
 

Home
 

He was lost. Again. This was nothing new. Neither was being surrounded by an angry mob. However, when one large man latched onto his shirt and begged for help, it struck Ryoga as entirely unique. When the rest of the mob followed suit, he was feeling too important to worry about familiarity anymore. It seemed these simple country people were plagued by a band of thieves, who left them no peace, no security, and no food.

As a dozen voices chattered away about all the horrible wrongs against them, the thieves appeared from behind a grocery store, carrying all the food they could- all the food in the store, it would seem. Hearing the voices and catching the movement of an entire town scattering like cockroaches under a lamp, the dirt, burly, nasty men all dumped their goods into their wagon and began to approach Ryoga, laughing and brandishing weapons.

Ryoga dropped his pack and readied his umbrella, taking a fighting stance as the sneering men neared.

"What do we have here, a little tough guy?"

"Ooh, I'm so scared... Heh!"

"What you got there, little man?"

"It's a big bad umbrella!!"

In a ridiculously short amount of time, the men were either head-first in a wall or a receding dot on the horizon.

"Heh, that was too easy." Ryoga shouldered his pack and continued walking, until the large man from before latched onto his leg, spewing thanks and praise. "Uh, yeah..."

"Please, brave sir, is there any way we can repay you? We don't have much, but what is ours is yours!" The others around him, all equally starry-eyed, all nodded their agreement.

"Well..." Ryoga began, knowing exactly what he wanted. "I would like a guide to Furinkan High School." The villagers all looked at each other, scratching their heads and mumbling the obviously unfamiliar name.

'Oh well, I guess I'm on my own again...'

"As you wish, brave sir!" The man wrapped around his leg said. Ryoga looked down and he jumped up, bowing low before him. "I am Kenichii, and I can find anything. Don't you worry, I'll see that you get where you're going!"

Tears welled up in Ryoga's eyes. 'I can't believe it! It's almost too good to be true! I'm going hooooome hahahahahaaaa!'
 

**********
 

"You're such a jerk, Ranma!"

"OW! Whadja do that for!?"

'Ah, the sights, sounds, and smells of home!' Still deliriously happy, Ryoga pushed open the gate of the Tendo Dojo. Looking over his shoulder at the man behind him, he sighed. 'If only I could get around as well as he can...'

"Well, I guess this is good bye. Thanks for everything!" Turning, Ryoga ran pell-mell into the dojo.

Kenichii, still waving at his back suddenly changed moods. Leaping into the concealing leaves of a nearby tree, he waited and watched as Ryoga encountered a lovely young girl and a put-out looking boy with a pig-tail. He had sworn to repay this brave soul personally, as it was his store that was just being raided. Repayment for the town; being safely guided back home. His own personal reward; being safely guarded. Whipping out a pair of binoculars, Kenichii sat back and watched.
 

**********
 

"Ryoga! You're back!"

"A-akane! Heh heh heh!"

"Well, with this timing you must have been heading back as soon as you left."

"Quiet, you!"

"Ryoga, would you like something to drink?"

"Ayesyes, Akane, thanks you! Heh!" Ryoga bowed awkwardly as Akane headed inside to get some tea.

"So, Porkchop, how ya been?"

"Ranma..." It was as much of a warning as Ranma would get, and surprisingly, he heeded it, and the two sat on the back porch in silence.

Until...

"Ranma Saotome, prepare to DIE!!"  Mousse came flying over the wall to land just on the other side of the pond, various pointy objects facing Ryoga's direction.

"GAH! Not me you twit, Ranma's over there!" Ryoga ducked under the porch until Mousse slipped his glasses off the top of his head, onto his face.

"Oh." Turning to face an unimpressed Ranma, "Ranma Saotome, prepare to-"

"Die, ya, ya, I've heard it all before."

"Uh... yeah." Momentarily on pause, Mousse sought to regain the train of thought he had lost. That stupid jerk Ranma, making him look like a fool! Mousse growled and various pointy objects turned in his direction.

"Oh Ranma, I didn't know you were inviting friends. I'll get some more tea and snacks." Mousse halted as Kasumi beamed at him before turning and heading back into the kitchen. Akane sat down next to Ranma, handing a cup of tea to Ryoga who had crawled out from under the porch.

"Please, sit down, Mousse."

"Ok." Mousse slipped his weapons back into his sleeve and sat on a large rock. This was most unusual, but then, Akane was unusually kind. Unless your name was Ranma Saotome.

Kasumi returned and served all around with more drinks and rice cakes, all with a sweet smile before leaving to do housework.

"Your sister is quite a hard worker. It's a wonder she hasn't married yet." Mousse remarked around a rice cake.

"Well, it's all up to Dr. Tofu, I guess..." Akane commented sadly.
 

**********
 

Oh, this was so boring. Kenichii was practicing balancing the binoculars on his nose to pass the time. Who knew heroes were such boring conversationalists? Or had such boring friends? A shout from the yard brought his attention, and his eyes narrowed dangerously.

Or maybe not friends at all.
 

**********
 

"Stop it, you three!" Akane shouted over the ruckus of three boys wrestling across the yard. "I swear, you're all hopeless! Hope you all have a good time!" Akane stormed back into the house and slammed the door shut behind her, startling Soun and Genma, the latter which used it as an excuse to flip over the shogi board before he lost.
 

"Ranma, you creep, now you've made Akane mad at me!"

"Me?! It's all your fault!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"No- ::splash:: Bweep?"

"AHH! That's cold!!"

Girl and pig glared up at Mousse, sitting dryly on a tree branch holding an empty bucket and wearing a big grin. Both pointed to him simultaneously.

"You!"

"Bweep!"

Mousse laughed as he ran around the yard, dropping hazards left and right for the two to fall into. A bear trap here, a bomb there, and it was a regular battlefield. Finally landing on top of the wall, Mousse laughed as the two were blinded by smoke bombs and ran right into each other- then into an instant pitfall, filled with snakes. As the two freaked and jumped out of the hole and ran- one into a tree, the other into the pond- Mousse was in stitches, throwing more and more boobytraps into the yard to further his amusement.

"Ah, well, this was fun." Mousse jumped up and was about to leave. "Thank the Tendo's for the tea!" He ran off, bouncing from rooftop to rooftop until he was out of sight.

Ranma, eyeball deep in cold water, glared after him. Idiot.

P-chan was furious. He came all this way just to get humiliated by a handful of parlor tricks and silly traps? No way! That jerk was going down! Gathering his resolve, he was about to run after the amazon when he was unexpectedly picked up.

"P-chan! You're back!" Akane laughed and hugged him close, either ignoring Ranma or just not noticing when she pretended to gag. The sound of leaves rustling caught Ranma's attention, but when she looked at the source, all she saw was an empty tree limb swaying in the light breeze.
 

**********
 

'That really was fun! Ranma doesn't usually let his guard down so easily... I'll have to remember to focus on him more when Ryoga is around...'

Mousse had resorted to walking back to the Nekohanten. It gave him a chance to strategize and to avoid that old mummy-monkey for as long as he could without being ridiculously late or just running away altogether. He walked down an alleyway, not noticing that he was being followed until a garbage can was knocked over. Turning his head and readying a weapon, Mousse was knocked to the ground.
 

**********
 

"That creep... What if Akane had seen?!" Ryoga walked the street, hands in his pockets to keep him from punching something. Ranma, walking on the fence to his left was a tempting target, but he figured since he was leading him to the store and back that it'd be like shooting himself in the foot.

"Ah, let it go. Mousse was just lucky is all. Anyway, you never told me how you got back here so fast."

"I had a guide. It helped a lot, the guy really knew his way around. He'd never even been here before."

"Wow. Hey, wouldn't it be cool if-"

"Don't start with me, Ranma." After glaring at Ranma until he blushed and looked away, Ryoga lost himself in his thoughts. 'What I wouldn't give to have a guide all the time. Then I'd never get lost. Of course, it might look stupid...' Images of him being led from place to place by a guy holding his hand flashed through his mind, replaced by him in a leash, then replaced by him in a leash being led to a bathhouse, then replaced by Mousse in a leash, in a bathhouse, being controlled by-

Ryoga stopped in his tracks. Where the hell had that come from?? He continued walking at Ranma's odd glance, tracing back through the steps to see where he went wrong.

Guide.

Holding hands.

In a leash.

In a bathhouse.

Mousse naked, in a leash in a bathhouse.

He stopped again, blushing. This wasn't working afterall.

"Hey, Mr. P, you wanna find your own way home?"

"Ah! Coming!" Ryoga ran to catch up, but stopped as a garbage can rolled out in front of him. Looking to his right, where it had come from, he saw trash and debris littering the ally, along with a hand, barely discernible from the mountains of garbage. What a dirty city this was...

"Hey, are you coming or not?"

"Just a second, I think there's somebody in there." Walking slowly into the alley, careful of icky things and with Ranma close behind, Ryoga approached what he had thought was a hand, and found it was.

"Mousse? Man, what happened to him?!" Ranma exclaimed as he knelt down and brushed inky black strands from his bruised face.

Ryoga was frozen stock still, the earlier tingle of the thought of Mousse turning into a raging fire of anger. "Who could have done this? Grr, damn that amazon girl!"

Surprised, Ranma looked up at Ryoga as he picked up Mousse, carrying him in his arms.

"What are you so upset about? He probably deserved it."

Unable to express why he didn't agree, Ryoga just shook his head. "We should get him to a doctor."

"Well, Dr. Tofu is closest, and he can check him for broken bones, and we can call an ambulance from there if we need to."
 

**********
 

"Just a second! Oh, hi fellas!" Dr. Tofu greeted as he entered the waiting room. His eyes rested on the unconscious, beaten form draped across Ryoga's arms and he ushered the boys into the examining room without another word. As soon as Ryoga laid Mousse on the table, Dr. Tofu went to work, checking him over for broken bones or serious cuts.

Ranma sat in a chair, but Ryoga hovered at the end of the bed.

'What is this I'm feeling? I've never felt like this before... Why does Mousse make me feel this way all of a sudden? And here I was hoping to just spend my time at home in Akane's lap.'

It didn't take long before Dr. Tofu was done. Getting up and walking to the sink, he returned and placed a cool cloth on Mousse's forehead.

"Well, Dr.?" Ryoga asked, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

"Nothing's broken, and he doesn't seem to be bleeding severely anywhere... He's just badly bruised. He should wake in an hour or so..." With a gasp, Mousse sat bolt upright, hands shooting to cradle his head. "Or less..."

"Mousse! Are you alright? What happened?"

Mousse groaned, ignoring Ryoga's question. Ranma stood up and walked over to them, sitting on the edge of the bed, mildly interested. There was something that just struck him as different...

"Mousse?" Ryoga repeated, Dr. Tofu echoing.

"I-I was just... walking home, when... someone jumped me. They knocked my... glasses off and beat me and I couldn't fight back! He was huge and fast and I couldn't see..." He started to hyperventilate, and Dr. Tofu handed him a glass of water, which he refused. "Then, he took out a knife and-" He froze, eyes wide.

Ranma snapped and jumped up. "I knew there was something different! Your hair!"

Ryoga turned from Ranma to look at Mousse, his own eyes going wide as Mousse mechanically reached up and touched his hair, which now came to just touch the tops of his shoulders.

"Mousse..." Ryoga reached out as Mousse bowed his head, resting it on his shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something, but Mousse convulsed, and he realized Mousse was crying. Tears ran down his face and dripped onto his robe, creating little dark circles. "I'm sorry..."

Before he could say anything else, Mousse threw his hand off and bolted from the room, tears streaming behind as he disappeared from view. All three tried to follow him, but by the time they made it outside, he was gone.

"Poor Mousse..." Dr. Tofu whispered.

"Yeah, he's like a girl when it comes to his hair." Ranma added absently. He nudged Ryoga, who stared into the distance. "Ready to go home? The store's closed by now." Ryoga nodded and dumbly followed Ranma after wishing Dr. Tofu a farewell, thanks, and a promise to keep him informed.

On the walk home, neither boy said anything. Ranma seemed to realize that it wasn't a joking matter- someone, not just Shampoo, came along, mercilessly attacked and defeated Mousse, who was no weakling, and disappeared, after leaving a cruel reminder of the incident by cutting off years of Mousse's life. What if he was next? What did it all mean?

Ryoga, on the other hand, was thinking purely in terms of what Mousse must be going through, and how long it would take him to get over it. His hair was a big thing, but it wasn't all there was- Mousse had plenty of redeeming features. His hair was still pretty long, and it looked good, he had nice eyes, when you could see them, he was spirited, he had energy and life and if Ryoga wasn't careful he was going to paint himself into a corner.

Why did Mousse all of a sudden capture his attention? Even thoughts of sitting snugly in Akane's lap were overshadowed by worry for the boy's welfare. He wouldn't do something foolish over something like hair, would he? Oh, if only he had Kenichii stick around, he could find Mousse and try to help him some way.

As if thinking it made it real, they turned the last corner home and saw him standing there at the gate, waiting. Ranma, confused as to who he was, fell back and let Ryoga take the lead, as it was obvious he knew who he was, as the stranger waved and Ryoga waved back.

"I thought you had gone home?" Ryoga seemed puzzled, but Kenichii just smiled.

"Ah, I get it!" Ranma said. "You must be the guy that showed Ryoga home."

"That's right. I was just about to leave for good, actually, but I just wanted to say good bye, and thank you again for all your trouble."

"Eh, no trouble, really." Ryoga assured, all flattered out and just desperate to get inside.

"Where've you been all day?" Ranma asked as the man shook Ryoga's hand good bye and turned to shake Ranma's.

"Oh, repaying a personal debt to my brave friend here. He did tell you about the amazing feat of bravery and strength he displayed in my village, didn't he?"

"Yeah, sort of." The man was still shaking his hand, but not very kindly.

"Well, be nice to him. Such a brave man should be respected, you know." Ranma nodded and he smiled, loosening his grin. Turning to Ryoga once more, he bowed. "And now I leave you, with one less foe to trouble you." He turned but Ryoga gripped his collar and yanked his face to his own.

"Grrr, what do you mean, 'one less foe'?" The man swallowed nervously.

"Why, you were being bullied earlier, and as per my own personal oath, I took care of the problem for you. Heh heh- aren't you happy?"

"Happy? HAPPY!?"

"'Yello?" Happosai popped up, and, finding nothing interesting, disappeared again.

"Not only was Mousse not a foe, he was a friend! Did it feel good beating up a blind kid? Did you like that!? How would you like to beat me up, HUH!?"

Kenichii, terrified, reached into his sleeve. "But, I did it for you! And look, I brought you a souvenir!" He pulled out eight inches of straight, black hair tied on one end with a leather thong.

Ryoga took one look at the offering and couldn't contain his anger any longer. "What are you, deaf as well as dumb!? I said Mousse was a friend, and I'm not going to let you get away with what you did!"

Ranma turned away as Ryoga thrashed Kenichii, then kicked him as hard and far as he could, Mousse's hair clutched tightly in his fist which shook with anger.

'Well, I guess I don't have anything to worry about after all...' Ranma thought, scratching the back of his head. Feeling an odd moment of insight, Ranma looked closely at the hank of hair in Ryoga's hand. "Maybe you should get rid of that."

'Who knew hair could be so soft?'

"Huh?"

"I said, I think you need to get rid of that."

"Oh." Ryoga looked down at the hair again, absently running his fingers through it. "Should we maybe give it to him?"

"Well boys," Happi said from his perch ontop the wall, "I can see three reasons why that's a bad idea."

"Hmph. I guess the old freak found something interesting to watch after all." Ranma groused.

"Do you want my advice or not!?" Happi jumped up and yelled down. At Ranma's turned back and Ryoga's nod, he jumped off the wall to stand before them. "Well, by giving it to him, you'll be reminding the poor boy that it's not attached to his head anymore, and that might make him even more depressed. Reason two is, he might think you had something to do with it."

"He did, gramps."

"I did not! I never asked that guy to-"

Ryoga looked past Ranma's shoulder to Mousse, who stood on the sidewalk. He was wearing his glasses, so he couldn't tell what he was looking at, but if he was looking at Ryoga he wasn't likely to miss. Thinking quickly, though a tad belatedly, Ryoga hid the fall of hair behind his back and laughed nervously.

"Heh Hey, Mousse! Uh, how are you?"

"I came to thank you for helping me..." Mousse's head was down, and Ryoga reached his hand out instinctively towards him. Mousse looked up, and Ryoga decided the expression was not a sad one. "Only to find that you are the reason for my pain!"
Ryoga shook his head so fast he was dizzy, but it didn't change the fact that he held Mousse's hair, and Mousse was damn pissed about that.

"It's not like that!" Ranma interjected, coming to Ryoga's aid, much to his unexpected delight. "He only accidentally caused your pain."

Ryoga almost smacked himself, but settled for smacking Ranma instead.

"Ryoga Hibiki, prepare to DIE!" Various pointy objects directed themselves to him, this time with serious intent to do harm, and Ryoga ran as fast as he could, in any direction, with Mousse hot on his trail. They didn't get far before they ran across the little old lady who watered the sidewalk, and the chase continued with P-chan and Muumuu-chan, who wasn't very good at attacking while trying to fly.

Rounding another corner, P-chan was startled again to be picked up.

"P-chan, there you are you naughty boy! I've been so worried about you!" Akane snuggled him close, and he almost relaxed, until he saw Muumuu land and draw several deadly looking blades. Squealing and squirming, P-chan made it free and ran off, and Muumuu was forced to sheath his weapons and take flight again.

After running for what felt like forever, P-chan leapt into a fountain, and found himself human, much to his surprise. Once Muumuu-chan rounded the corner, he lunged out and grabbed the duck, thrusting him into the warm water of the fountain as well. Now face to face, Ryoga held Mousse's arms to his sides.

"Mousse, I can explain!"

"You really got me back for earlier, didn't you!"

"I would never do that to you!"

"All this time you just made people believe you were a good guy!"

"Listen to me!!" Ryoga shook Mousse firmly, dislodging his glasses, which splashed into the fountain between their legs. Mousse looked down blindly to where they fell, not really looking for them, but not bothering to look away.

"My hair... was my finest feature... and now it's gone!"

"Mousse..." Another painful stab in his gut and Ryoga leaned forward, holding Mousse close. "You have a lot of great things to offer. I was just thinking that earlier, in fact." When he got nothing more than a sniffle in response, he continued. "You're a beautiful person, if you could just get over your whole Follow-Shampoo-to-the-End-of-the-World-and Revenge!-Against-Anyone-Who-Gets-in-the-Way kick." Almost to emphasize his point, Ryoga began running his hands up and down Mousse's arms, generating a shiver from the other and a different kind of stab in his groin.

Looking at Mousse, sitting naked, pale, and wet in front of him, the dusk light reflecting off his shortened, shiny hair and teary, slate gray eyes, Ryoga couldn't help himself and leaned the last few inches, claiming Mousse's cry-swollen lips in his own.

He rested his lips against the silk of Mousse's, tasting salt and, as Mousse miraculously returned the kiss, the heat of the inside of his mouth. The voice worrying about his feelings for Mousse took a backseat as the kiss deepened, Mousse's hands wrapping around Ryoga's bare torso, Ryoga's hands burying themselves in Mousse's hair. They kissed for several long minutes, not even caring about air, as Ryoga discovered what Mousse's tongue tasted like as he sucked it into his mouth and rolled it around with his own.

Exhaled moans surrounded them and was all they heard, their close faces all they saw, their touching hands and mouths all they felt. So it came as a great surprise when a walking stick, shopping bag, purse, baby stroller, and umbrella started raining down on their heads as women screeched and cursed and screamed.

Already badly bruised, Mousse jumped out of the fountain, dragging Ryoga along, before brandishing a bucket of water out of nowhere and splashing them both. The women who had attacked scattered to search for the two naked perverts who were making out in the fountain, running right by Muumuu-chan and P-chan.

They traded looks and sighed before walking slowly home, as close to each other as they could.
 

**********
 

Settling himself down in front of the warm fire, Ryoga grabbed his shirt and squeezed the water out of it.

"What happened to our clothes?"

Ryoga shook his head, seeing only the reflection of fire off Mousse's glasses. "I'm not sure. Probably just laid in the street for a few hours. This was all I could find. He heard Mousse sigh as he collected his robe, the only article that was his, and laid it out to dry as well.

"So... what now?" Mousse asked, sounding uncertain.

Ryoga laid his shirt and pants down and crawled over with as much dignity as a naked person can crawl across the ground. "I don't really know. I never imagined this would happen..."

"Oh." Mousse, his knees tucked under his chin, looked down the length of his legs.

"Oh, no! It's not a bad thing! I mean..." Ryoga thought for a second and decided it really didn't feel bad at all. Strange as hell and coming out of nowhere, but definitely not bad. "I... I really like you, Mousse..."

"Well, I suppose that's good..."

"Huh?" Ryoga met Mousse's eyes, seeing the blue through the thick lenses as the fire played behind like a halo.

"Because I was defeated, and you defeated him, and then defeated me, so... we're kinda engaged."

Ryoga just looked at him for a while before busting out laughing. "Oh, haha! That's a good one, ha!" Ryoga opened his eyes and saw that Mousse wasn't laughing.

"It's either that or I have to kill you." That sobered Ryoga. "But," Mousse added, seeing Ryoga pale, "It doesn't have to be anytime soon, or anything. Just eventually. Or until Ranma hands my ass to me again."

'Wha!? I'm not going to let Ranma steal my chance at happiness!' "No way, no how!" Mousse looked at him, surprised. "I mean, that is, unless..."

"Well..." Mousse fidgeted. "It's not the worst thing that could happen, and I mean, well... I-I don't mind, really..." Ryoga watched Mousse blush before breaking out in a big grin, and pulling the taller boy closer for a hug.

Not bad at all.

As they lay together underneath the stars, Mousse's head resting on his shoulder, Ryoga smiled to himself, not sure where he'd gone astray on the path he'd had in mind, and not having the gumption to try and figure it out. It was no wonder, really, that he'd get lost on his proverbial path too.

He rubbed Mousse's smooth back, loving the feel of such hairless, perfect skin, and trailed his hand up to nestle in the soft strands of hair. It would, admittedly, be nice to have laid on a blanket of this wonderful hair, but he didn't mind waiting around a few years to experience it.

He kissed the top of his love's head as Mousse moaned in his sleep, and returned his gaze to the ever constant stars.

It felt good to be home.
 

**********
 

"I just don't understand where P-chan could have gone!"

"I'm sure he'll show up, Akane, he always does."

"I suppose you're right, Ranma."

A commotion outside brought everyone's attention to the door as Happosai burst through in his thieving get-up, and a huge sack of raided panties on his back.

"Hee hee, what a haul, what a haul!"

"Master, please, I implore you!" Soun begged with tears in his eyes. "Please stop this stealing!"

"Stealing!? My boy, you wound me to the core! These are gifts!"

"Gifts?" Everyone questioned at once.

"Yes, gifts" Happi assured as he set his bundle down. "It's only right that they should be gifts! After all," He removed his mask to reveal what had happened to Mousse's hair after Ryoga dropped it. "The ladies can't resist a man with a full head of hair! HAHAHAHAHAAA!"
 

~~owari~~
 

Ping- That was fun!
Ryoga-  T~T   No lemon for me??
Ranma- ::raspberry::
Kuno- Me next, me next!
Ping- C'mon now, Mousse needs a vacation.
Mousse- Ugh, my ass needs a vacation...

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